Friday, December 07, 2012

Some Things I Need To Say About Food, Facebook, Etc


1. It's so heartening to cook for people who like to eat well. I was reminded of that today when a friend came home after some six months of falling out of touch and lit into the food with gusto, especially the bread pudding I had made for dessert. I have to admit that I too fell in love with the pudding and kept shaving off little slivers with a spoon and putting them in my bowl hoping to minimise how much I ate but at the end of it, we had left just two spoons which The Spouse was grateful for.

 I remember another dinner we hosted a few years ago for The Spouse's academic advisor and his wife. She must have been in her mid- or late 50s, a petite, twinkling, cheerful woman, who kept serving herself several helpings of everything on the table and appeared to enjoy every morsel. Why did it fill me with such joy to see someone enjoy their meal so much? Probably because such women are rare to come by.

 I've seen many who have one piece of paneer and claim to be full and not eat anymore. To add insult to injury, they say, "Oh, I can only eat this much." Some of them take it a notch higher and writhe in discomfort, pat their stomach and tell me they have a big belly and it needs to shrink. Needless to say, these are the people who do not have either a weight problem or a belly-size problem. Some don't do all this, they simply look ready to cry at the torturuous thought of putting another grain of rice in their mouth.

 Then there are the others who are outraged if you ask them whether they are hungry and would they like to stop somewhere for a bite. They are indignant that I should even ask. They never feel a base passion like hunger! Well, get this: Most of us get hungry and actually eat. Even like to eat. And we don't believe you when you say you don't. Especially if you go on trying to convince us that you can go on and on working, walking, shopping, doing anything, except feel hunger. Rile us a little more with such statements and we'll tell you that most of what's wrong with you is because you never allow yourself to have a decent meal.

About Facebook 

I am on Facebook as Whenmysoup CameAlive. I get friend requests from many people who don't identify themselves. If you are a blogger and don't have that information or a link to your blog in your 'About' section, please introduce yourselves through a private message.

 If you're a reader or someone connected to the food and beverage industry, or anyone who wants to make fransip with me, please do the same thing. I am wary about adding people without knowing who they are or why they want to be friends with me, even if we share 134 mutual friends.

I'm sure I speak for several bloggers when I say this. In fact, I used to try and check out the requests but it turned out to be impractical. So I simply do not add anyone who doesn't make it easy for me to identify them. Please do not add me to groups on Facebook without my permission - I find it maha tiring - and am crushed - to see the red notification flash only to tell me yet another recipe has been added to Magnificently Quotidian Recipes. Nor do I want it to flash only when I'm being invited to Farmville or open a message to see I'm in some group conversation to discuss something equally mundane.

Some real interaction would be nice. But I don't interact either, you say? Fine, then let us both coexist in companionable silence and contemplate why we are being unsocial on a social network, but please don't try to punish me for it by adding me to groups, chain mails and games - I will simply leave the groups and turn off game invite notifications.

And while I'm ranting, here's another one: I know we're all on social networks to draw attention to ourselves, our blogs, looks, or whatever aspects of ourselves we choose to promote. Should we not draw a line, though? How far will we go to get attention? Flaunting utterly private moments of ourselves, even in less than pleasant situations, do we really want publicity in exchange for coming across as tacky?

 Yeah, I'm probably in fuddy-duddy cantankerous crone mode now, but I needed to say it.

 

26 comments:

  1. You know I enjoy my meals very much (provided they're well cooked!) and it shows too. ;-D
    As for Facebook, I agree with everything you have to say.
    I think I have to ask myself just how far I will go for attention...............

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    1. HA HA HA! And when you arrive at the answer to the FB question, let me know. I'm very curious.

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  2. I love my food, Sra......I don't hesitate to take as many helpings as I need to feel satiated :-) I don't let the other kind....you know, the ones who eat half an idli a day and feel stuffed bother me at all.....look at it this way.....they are leaving more on the table for people who enjoy food to eat, right?

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    1. You're right, Jay, but the act they put on irritates me no end.

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  3. I hear you about Facebook Sra...and I so agree with you, very annoying to know that you are added to some groups not knowing about it earlier..and self promotion with dignity and ethics that is all required in social networking..but that too depend on one's own parameters. I have stopped entertaining friend requests that comes without any messages.and about eating- personally there were times when I had several helpings and the host was amused- kind of 'kitna khati hai yeh" expression..but still I don't feel shy when I am eating good food with good friends, even Dal and rice is more than enough for me :-)..hugs

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    1. Jaya, what I saw beats parameters, i can't believe the depths ...

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    2. Still shaken, are you? the depth people may fall into:-D .. that's why I keep FB Interaction to bare minimum.There is real people out there who do give me real happiness and when they say word that are not sugar-coated, even that makes sense than those updates in FB...hugs-Jaya

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  4. I guess we are all surrounded by people who make us look bad about loving and appreciating the food we eat. I have noticed that people don't even discuss food when they are eating! And I particularly hate those who claim that they can't have the second pav while having pavbhaaji (which is typically served with 2 pav's) while I am thinking if I should order an extra side of pav or a lassi to go with it. :P LOL!

    I am seriously done with FB. I don't want to know who's maid is sick or who is craving for some chinese food at midnight. I get all important 'updates' without having a FB account from all those who really matter to me.

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  5. Anon, LOL!

    I quite enjoy FB and won't let a few people spoil it for me. I don't even mind the mundane updates or promotion, we can easily ignore them, but what prompted this post was truly yucky.

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  6. I was laughing so hard after reading 'fransip' :) I love it when guests dig in too.. makes all the effort worthwhile.

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    1. Laavanya :), glad my fransip made you laugh.

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  7. Well if you ask me over to dinner i assure you, you will have not problem in me eating everything you make, your hubby might not even get the two spoons he got.
    I love it too when i invite ppl and they really enjoy the food i make it is always a pleasure for me to invite these friends or family who enjoys food.
    Hans have a aunt and i love asking her for food because she enjoys her food so much and she also apriciate the time and effort you put into making the dishes.
    About fb, i sometimes do accept ppl when i see there are so many friends in mutiual simply because i feel so guilty if i don't accept them.

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    1. Finla, The Spouse laughed when I showed your comment to him. It's nice to have appreciative people around.

      No need to feel guilty about anything. I too accepted a few like that in the beginning, they would send me multiple invitations, I got angry with myself also for accepting. I am not comfortable with people who do that and then don't participate. So I put them in a list where they can't see much of what I post.

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  8. Fuddy duddy cantankerous crone mode (I like that phrase!) but sathya vachan! :) I haven't come across folks who pretend to be full and honestly, I don't even get why they'd do that (is it supposed to be cool or something?) but my peeve is about folks who eat without appreciating the effort a host puts for them. It is indeed a pleasure to cook for someone who enjoys food and makes no bones about it. Reg FB, I ended up creating a second account for my food blogger avatar, just so I don't have to worry about what I'm sharing and who should/shouldn't see it. And yes, some posts have had me cringing and some left me feeling bad for the misguided person who posted it thinking it was funny or hep (nobody uses that word anymore!) or even interesting. And what is with those annoying hashtags on FB? A few, I understand but paragraphs of it for one picture?! Ok, looks like I'm getting into a fuddy duddy cantankerous mode now!

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    1. Vani, yes, I think they think it's cool, given that wanting to be, and being, thin are desirable.

      I'm talking about my food blogger account only, on my personal one I do have a lot of bloggers but they are mostly those whom I know from 5-6 years ago and I strictly don't accept people I don't know very well on that account, bloggers or otherwise. Not even colleagues at work.

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  9. Oh dear, you have voiced much of my rants. I know people who do not think appropriate to acknowledge the effort someone makes. Why accept an invitation if you are so concerned about weight/ tummy flab and whatever?

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    1. Lata, you said it! Maybe they think it's impolite to not accept an invitation.

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  10. With you. "I know we're all on social networks to draw attention to ourselves, our blogs, looks, or whatever aspects of ourselves we choose to promote. Should we not draw a line, though? How far will we go to get attention? " Wait and see, shall we ?

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    1. I think that line was breached, with what I saw - of course, it's subjective.

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  11. Invite me- i will leave my diet at home before hitting your home for the delicious food.
    FB - from the beginning i am almost invisible, I don't know what made you to write this line "Flaunting utterly private moments of ourselves" - i always ponder people take pictures just to post in social networking and show to others they are happy...

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    1. Cham, believe me, that private moment was not about happiness, some people will exploit anything, I guess!

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  12. Oh Sra, horrible is that when we get invited to their place!! i have few friends/relatives when invited, we finish our food @ home and I Warn my Hubby not to ask for second serving in their places!!! :)
    On FB, last week i spent a day unsubscribing myself for lot of groups and un-friending many of them!!! :)

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